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Adventure Travel On Horseback
When you think of "adventure travel," what crosses your mind?
* Hiking?
* White water rafting?
* Scuba diving?
* Something as sedentary as a cruise ship or land rover safari?
Those ideas lose their "adventure" status when you compare them to...
How To Be Safe While Traveling
The most dangerous time in your life, when you are most likely to be attacked is when you are traveling in an unfamiliar area.
Tourists are the favorite prey of the goblins of the world for the following reasons:
They are easy to spot....
Japanese Overseas Travel Insurance
If you are an expatriate planning on long-term residence in Japan you can, after a one-year stay, become a part of Japan's national health program. Until that time, however, you're going to need Japanese overseas travel insurance. Some of the...
Jet Lag - 5 Pre-travel Steps to Reduce the effects of jet lag
Ask any regular long-haul flyer about their experience of flying and you will soon discover that everyone has a different "magic" formula for overcoming or avoiding jet lag.
In reality of course no magic formula exists - and there is certainly no...
What you need to know about- paris travel
Life never sleeps in the capital city of France- Paris. The City of Lovers or the City of Lights, the city of Paris is exceptional for it has not just one but a multitude of attractions that leave each and every visitor bizarre. The aura of the city...
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A TIME-TRAVEL POSTCARD...
(c) Theolonius McTavish 2004. All rights reserved.
Seeking a spot of serenity somewhere in the universe, I recently booked a deep-discount dodgy berth on the ‘White Elephant Express Space Shuttle’, to a little known place in a galaxy far, far away.
“IT” (otherwise known as HD 36405.b) is not your average “oddball” exo-solar planet made of rock that wobbles on its end and zips around a nearby star in less than 2.46 days.
Most linear thinkers have a great deal of difficulty even comprehending why on earth anyone in their “right mind” would be interested in visiting a planet called “IT”. Not being a linear thinker with an investment in the “right” answer, I didn’t give a hoot. After all, what does one (who walks on water and listens to miffed mortals all day long) do for a frigging night off, now I ask you?
If truth be told, (after reading random excerpts from “The Itty Bitty Bunkum Book About Life, the Universe and Practically Everything Under the Sun Not To Mention Stuff Going On In Remote Galaxies), I was simply delirious. According to its noted author, Dr. Jarn Leffer, “IT is a ’must-see’ for those with little time on their hands and a passionate interest in Innocuous Things.”
As planets go, “IT” is a pretty ho-hum celestial pit-stop with perhaps one exception… the welcome notice that reads, “Cosmic Cowboys - Welcome to the furthest unexplored outreaches of the Galaxy … Home to the Flop Fairy and Oodles of Gadflies!”
“IT” is populated by colonies of giggling, green grasshoppers . What else would you expect to inhabit a far-flung, fantasy-challenged hellhole like this? But, what made “IT” strictly speaking a strange place was the fact that the inhabitants munch on green, biodegradable garbage bags just for fun.
Lacking masticating capabilities, the gadflies process their food by vigorously jumping up and down on it. No wonder they have no need for fast-food franchises, strip malls or landfills!
Anyway, I picked up this picturesque postcard of the blessed ballyhooing buglugs. They look perfectly happy but don’t be deceived. In reality, they’re just a gang of glad-handing grasshoppers. They don’t play golf, eat burgers, or drink beer -- and none can frost a rock! Come to think of it, apart from the company of bugs and the elusive flop fairy, this pathetic planet has precious little going for IT!!
To put "IT" bluntly, life on “IT” is just shy of a tittynope*. The jolly green grasshoppers and the carefully manicured green fairways with sand traps as far as the eye can see certainly make for an utterly harmless world. Regrettably, without a pair of golf clubs, a dimpled white ball, and the notion that 19th hole even exists on this planet -- ”IT” is about as fun as bag of toads!
Life Lesson 42: Remember to talk to your travel agent before ever embarking on a flight of fancy to a planet called “IT” in a galaxy named “Have-a-Nice-Day”!!
__________
*"Tittynope" for you whiffling word-peckers means "a small quantity of anything left over".
If you want to know what those green, glad-handing grasshoppers from "IT" look like -- ask any four-year old, or failing that request some help from a Flying Saucer Club member.
About the Author
Theolonius McTavish is a somewhat spaced-out time-traveller (of minor relevance and importance in the great scheme of things). When not probing odd things happening somewhere in the depths of the universe, he enjoys chinwagging with all manner of merry folk at www.quippingqueen.blogspot.com
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